The Sex Party, Menier Chocolate Factory

This is a story about a suburban sex party, set in a middle-class house in Islington. The play is set in the kitchen, all the libidinous stuff takes place off stage, in the lounge and we see the cast as they arrive and when they are taking a break from the action (as it were). I probably went with the wrong frame of mind; I was expecting a comedy or a farce. It does have some jokes (not enough) and some of the characters are mildly funny, but it certainly not a comedy.

The first act has a different tone to the second half. The first is lighter and I guess this is to introduce the characters, but just before curtains falls for the interval, a woman arrives and as soon as she heads off to the bathroom, there is hushed discussion as to whether or not she is trans. The second act is about whether she is, and how everyone feels about it.

The mood is darker, the dialogue is deeper, and suddenly we are in more confrontational territory. Now it is not a play about sex, but about gender, identity, misogyny and even racism. The concept is current, it is surely an issue of our time, but I felt the author wasn’t clear enough in his own head where he stood on the matter, to give his characters well-formed opinions. I think the time is right for a play that covers the boundaries between all these subjects, but this play’s characters did not present a broad enough spectrum of views to provide a good balance. I don’t wish to be unfair to the show, it is a good idea and I enjoyed it up to a point, but for my taste, the comedy parts weren’t quite funny enough and the debates were more shouting matches than cohesive arguments.

Having said that, the cast is strong, it is not often that you get an Oscar winner in a fringe play. Timothy Hutton was good, given his underwritten part. Molly Osborne was wry and likeable as Hetty, John Hopkins and Will Barton delivered their funny self-deprecating lines well. All the actors were good, and the set was done with a great deal of attention to detail. I really like the Menier Chocolate Factory as a theatre and it’s good to have it back presenting plays again.

Great London Songs

11 Parklife – Blur

Released in 1994, the title track of Blur’s third album Only reached No. 10 in the UK chart, but it is probably one of the most recognizable “Britpop” songs. The verses are narrated by Phil Daniels, a London actor, in a strong cockney accent. It was written while Damon Albarn was living in Kensington Church Street and the band were recording the album in Fulham.

At the 1995 BRIT awards, the song won the single of the year award and the video won the video of the year. Set on the Greenwich peninsula, along a street of terraced houses, you can, briefly, see the early City of London skyscrapers in the background.

The song has also been used in an advertisement for Nike. Filmed on Hackney Marshes with Eric Cantona, Robbie Fowler and Ian Wright among others – it very often appears in best ever adverts lists.

Since then, it has become a football anthem and is sung at many clubs, most notably by Norwich with the lyrics changed to “Farkelife” at the time when their manager was Daniel Farke.

The Four Corner Chess Club, Saturdays, Granary Square

The Four Corner Outdoor Chess Club is a very enjoyable thig to do on a sunny Saturday afternoon. It meets at noon in St. John’s Square, a short walk from Farringdon station, a part of the city that is quiet at the weekend. It is free and you don’t need to book – just turn up and take part. The atmosphere is fun and friendly, it doesn’t matter whether you are a good player or a complete beginner, you will find a game. To be honest, you don’t even have to play, there were some people who just came to watch.

They say that chess is good for keeping the brain active, and in that respect, this club would certainly be good for the over 55s. The chess sets are laid out on a small wall and have a natural seat on one side, on the other side the player will have to stand, so if you have a back problem you may have to ask to be on the seated side. I can’t imagine that anyone there would have a problem with this though, everyone was very helpful and friendly.

The setting is lovely, a tree lined square, there is even a beautiful quiet, contemplative garden on one side, where you could go to gather your thoughts after a particularly tricky game. It was a warm sunny day when I was there, and it was an idyllic way to spend time – it might be a bit different on a damp winter day, although I suspect that they have a friendly pub nearby that they can adjourn to. The Four Corner Club also meet on a Wednesday evening at 6pm in Granary Square, near Kings Cross station – perhaps I’ll see you there!

Capital Ring – Section 4

Crystal Palace to Streatham Common

Section 3 goes from Crystal Palace Station to Streatham Common, it is pretty short at 6.5km and has some spectacular long views at various point through the walk. Definitely one to choose on a clear day. On leaving the station and Crystal Palace Park, you cross over Anerley Hill Road and go up a steep hill to Palace Square, which has an interesting juxtaposition of posh 19th Century houses on one side and a 1960s council housing estate on the other. Continuing uphill, we soon reach Belvedere Road, which just has posh houses, one of which has a blue plaque marking the residence of Benjamin Waterhouse-Hawkins, the designer of the dinosaurs in Crystal Palace Park.

Belvedere Road, posh houses with a nice view.

Nest we go downhill through Westow Park which is a small park with a children’s playground, apparently this was the grounds of a young gentlemen’s school in the 19th Century, which is probably why the road when you exit the park is named College Green. From here you can see Norwood Recreation Park which we cross. Uphill after leaving we arrive at Beulah Hill, a busy road, but with some spectacular long-range views into central London.

London from Beulah Hill.

Next, we go down Biggin Hill, which has views southward, and a pathway between two houses leads us into Biggin Wood, another small remnant of the Great North Wood.

Norwood Grove is uphill once again. It is the grounds of Norwood Grove House a Grade II listed mansion with a beautiful Cedar tree and more southward views, this time towards Croydon, the number of cranes indicating that this skyline will get more crowded in the coming years.

Norwood Grove is joined to Streatham Common, the first part you reach is The Rookery, just to the left of the Capital Ring and this is a Grade II listed Historic Garden. It is certainly worth strolling through, it has ornamental ponds, beautiful old trees and attractive herbaceous borders. It was on this site that the “Streatham Springs” were discovered, and The Rookery was originally the grounds of a now demolished spa hotel. The grounds were bought by public subscription after the demolition of the house, in order to prevent them from being developed for new housing. The waters from Streatham Springs were said to be “beneficial in Bilious and Liver complaints, headaches, jaundice and digestion”. Just outside is “The Rookery Cafe” which serves teas, coffees, sandwiches and other dishes. It also has a vibrant community notice board.

From here Streatham Common slopes gently downhill towards the London Road, giving nice long views to the west. It also looks attractive from the road, its slope displaying the families out enjoying the sun during the summer. The Common has an annual kite day, regular fairs, a firework display in autumn and a large open-air nativity scene at Christmas. London is lucky to have so many, well maintained, green spaces for such a large city and Streatham Common is a fine example of this.

Great London Songs

9 Vossi Bop – Stormzy

Vossi Bop was released in April 2019 entering the UK chart at No.1 and spending two weeks there. Stormzy is a London grime artist, and his lyrics and performances often talk about living and growing up in South London. This song references UK and London politics and the line “tell ’em this is London City, we the hottest in the world”. The video has him rapping outside the bank of England and on Westminster Bridge. Idris Elba appears (briefly) in the video just after Stormzy name checks him.

10 Take Me Back to London – Ed Sheeran ft Stormzy

Take Me Back to London was released in August 2019 and spent five weeks at the top of the UK chart that summer. This was the 2nd grime track to reach No.1 (after Vossi Bop) although, to be fair, this is a very poppy version of grime. Ed Sheeran does have form working with grime artists, there were many on “No.5 Collaborations Project”. This track is from “No.6 Collaborations Project” and it is basically saying that “no town does it quite like my home, so take me back to London” Although Sheeran grew up outside London, he began his career here, gigging and sofa surfing. This is a witty take on grime, they both brag about how great they are, with talk of their BRITS and headlining Glastonbury, instead of Courvoisier and Champagne, they rap “give me a packet of crisps with my pint”. There are two other rappers on this track (Aitch and Jaykae), and they take the mick out of Sheeran’s more MOR audience “Tell Mumsie I’m on a track with Ed”.

Jeff Wayne’s War of the Worlds – The Immersive Experience

I attended amongst a group of 10 people, some of us remembered the original album fondly, a couple had read the H. G. Wells book, and a couple had no knowledge of the story. The entry point is a 19th Century tavern, where you can have a drink while you await your fellow travelers. The parties set off in groups of around 15. and you begin by sitting in a small cinema where hologram images set the scene for the story.

You are then brought to a planetarium, and each of you gets an individual telescope, through which you can study the solar system. Through these telescopes, you can see strange substances gathering on Mars’ surface. Your professor reassures you that “The chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one…”and then we are off into the adventure. Before long, our professor is cinders, and we are led from pillar to post by various soldiers and civilians, helping us to avoid the destruction around us, caused by the Martians.

Eventually we arrive at a dock, where we are shown into boats and virtual reality headsets recreate our journey to London, in the hope of escaping the devastation. Virtual reality has come a long way in the last couple of years and these sections work fantastically well, helped by the rocking motion of the boats and the wind in our face at various points of the scene. Having escaped from the river, we are led to another tavern where we can have another drink (or not) while we wait for our rescuers to bring us on the next section of our adventure.

The second half of the show involves lots more VR, including hiding in a church confessional box and a trip in a hot air balloon. If you remember the album, you will recognize these parts of the storyline, as it does stick quite close to the story on the album. Before you know it, you are deposited back in the tavern for the obligatory photo opportunity and a debrief. The show lasts a bit over two hours and the time flew by. We all thoroughly enjoyed it, whether we were aware of the story or not. There were a few genuinely jumpy moments, and the music was good. I have to say that I was disappointed that they cut the Phil Lynott, Julie Covington duet (however, I was the only one of our party who remembered the track…) but the VR and how immersive it was really made up for it.

By the way, we weren’t allowed to take photos inside, so the ones included are stock ones that I found on the internet. If anyone would like to claim them or wish for attribution, please leave a note in the comments and I will remove or comply as you wish. The venue is Leadenhall Street, quite near to Bank Station, in the city. All in all, it was an excellent evening and Jeff Wayne’s War of the Worlds is a great addition to the list of things to do in London.

Great London Songs

8 Up the Junction – Squeeze

“I never thought it would happen, with me and the girl from Clapham” begins the 1979 story song from Squeeze. It’s named after a 1960s kitchen sink drama directed by Ken Loach and although the story is not quite the same one, it has many of the same elements. Lean lyrics and no chorus, it succinctly tells a life story in 3 minutes and 10 seconds.

Released as a single, on purple vinyl in 1979, it made No2 in the UK charts – being kept from the No1 by Tubeway Army’s “Are Friends Electric”. The song has a London sensibility, Up the Junction is slang for in trouble and it namechecks Clapham’s windy common. Written by Glenn Tilbrook and Chris Difford, who were the main songwriters in the band, Jools Holland was the keyboard player in Squeeze when the song was released. They wrote the story of the other person in the song “the girl from Clapham” 20 years later in “A Moving Story”

There haven’t been too many covers for a song that sold over half a million copies in the UK. Travis put it on the B side of a single, The View put it on the B side of Superstar Tradesman and Lily Allen does it live occasionally. My favourite cover is by The Hotrats, a side project of the band Supergrass, who change it up, but manage to keep the sadness of the story.

Up at the O2

It seems that I was one of the few people who liked The Millenium Dome, as it was called when it was called when it was first built. I had a couple of very enjoyable days there at the start of the century. So, when I was given the tickets to walk over the roof of it, as a birthday gift, I was delighted. It’s called the O2 arena now and the walk over its roof is “Up at the O2” with a tagline of “Get over it” – which might be a reference to how unpopular the venue was when it was opened.

The tours run every 15 minutes from roughly 10am until 10pm, although the start and finish times do vary from day to day. You can book them a long way in advance, but I would recommend waiting until you have a good idea of what the weather will be like before booking. They run whatever the weather, rain or shine and only cancel if there are gale force winds or if there is lightning within 5 miles.

It was a lovely sunny October day, the 30th, on the day we did it and although I’d imagine it would be an interesting experience in a thunderstorm, I suspect it would not be as pleasant. The walk up and down is quite steep at times, 30% maximum gradient, but the path is wide, and you are hooked up to a safety harness, so the journey to the top and back did not feel dangerous at any point. There are grips to hold your shoes on the steepest parts, but I bet the surface becomes quite slippery in the rain.

The podium at the top is big and provides beautiful panoramic views of the city skyscrapers and of the Thames east of London. The only cameras you are allowed to bring are those that will fit inside your zipped pockets. They do have gilets with zipped pockets, that they will lend you, if your jacket does not have zipped pockets. The pillars do make it a bit difficult for someone of my limited photographic ability to get photos that do justice to the views. The maximum group size is twenty and our guide, was very helpful with lots of information and offers of picture taking.

Treasure Hunt, Hidden City Adventures

Hidden City Adventures provide an option of three treasure hunts taking you around different parts of London, guided by clues sent to your mobile phone. The one we chose to do was Moriarty’s Game, a Sherlock Holmes type mystery that led us around Fitzrovia and Mayfair.

The walks are set in the real world and do involve you interacting with various people along the way -such as going up to a barista in a certain coffee shop and telling them that the white knight sent you (not an actual clue, by the way!). It will involve real detective work and the clues are quite challenging, but this all adds to the sense of achievement when you actually figure them out. You should think of the experience as a day out, rather than a brisk walk, because although we covered a distance of 3km, it took us around three hours with breaks for drinks or snacks as we sat and worked on the various clues.

The games have been set up with great care by people who are interested in London because they bring you through surprising areas and spaces that you would not otherwise see. I have lived in London almost my entire life and there were some places that I didn’t realise existed right in the heart of town. I would say, that it is a social activity – best undertaken with at least two or possibly a small group – as working out the fiendish clues together can be a fun, bonding experience. Also, you should be aware that you will need to add the cost of stopping for coffee or drinks, two or three times during the walk, to your budget for the day.

Having said that, this is a great day out, it involves a small amount of exercise, that you can take at your own pace. It has great puzzles that will stimulate your brain. It is a good social activity, that involves interacting with both unknown people and members of your group, you get a nice sense of achievement when you complete it…. and most of all it is fantastic fun!